I Had A Ham Sandwich For Lunch Today

You know, in honor of the holiday.

Looks like it's going to be just Scooter Libby getting indicted today, which is fine, I suppose. I wanted indictments to rain down like confetti. I wanted to see Rove marched out in handcuffs. It's good to want things, I guess. I'm not going to get into it all here--there's got to be some limit on the number of words in a single post, after all, not to mention the number of times you can legitimately use the word "asshat" in one sentence--but I do want to throw one thing out there. Scooter Libby. Scooter. That's the Vice President's chief of staff, in case you haven't been following along at home.

I want you to think, for a moment, of all the people you know called "Scooter," or all the people you have ever called "Scooter" behind their backs. Those of you who have been out to dinner with me may know that "Scooter" is what I call waiters who are not particularly impressing me. Now I want you to imagine your "Scooter," the guy on your softball team who can't catch or the waiter who keeps forgetting your drink order, wandering around the White House. You know, making policy and shit. Because this is what we've got. We've got Scooter waging war, and Scooter managing the budget, and Scooter out-thinking the CIA. This is the result of the moronic frat-ocracy currently in office. Guys named "Scooter" ruling the world. This is not the sort of thing that makes me feel safe at night.