So, they've sequenced the platypus genome and found the "secrets" of mammal evolution. To be honest, this does not surprise me. I expect that there are great secrets to be found in the platypus genome. I expect the meaning of life to be found in the platypus genome. It's the platypus! All the keys of the universe are hidden in its DNA! Come on now, scientists. Keep looking!
You know, I was entertaining the idea of liveblogging the Wings/Avs game going on right now. Falstaff and I were on the phone for a few minutes at the start of the first period and he was cracking up--I've had a frustrating and kind of annoying day, and I have been gleefully looking forward to this game since I got out bed. However, I just took a look at my commentary thus far and realized that the least vulgar thing I had to say was when I said that Jose Theodore could eat a bag of dicks.
Yeah. And it went steeply downhill from there.
So much for that plan. I'll keep my hideously unspeakable commentary to myself from here on out. If you really want to know what I have to say, imagine an angry drunken sailor overcome with bloodlust and what he would say. It's probably pretty close. I know it's not going to happen, but I really want this to be the kind of game that has the bewildered pacifists on NPR discussing the legal ramifications tomorrow morning.
Okay, wait, did the old-school Beetle in this commercial just say, "You are pooping your little space pants"? That's the awesomest thing I've heard all day.
I often joke that the only city service Detroit manages to be remotely competent about is parking enforcement. So it's pretty entertaining that on the day the Detroit News runs a front page story on the fact that the Detroit Fire Department is completely falling apart? I get a parking ticket.
Asshats.
Double the number of ex-cons join the US army.
Faaaaaaantastic. 511 "moral" waivers granted by the army for 2007, including sex offenders and people convicted of "making terrorist threats."
Several questions come to mind, starting with the fact that I thought we had outsourced the sex offending to KBR. Then I start thinking about the people convicted of making terrorist threats that were waived in. Meanwhile, as of February of last year, 11,000 soldiers have been discharged under Don't Ask Don't Tell.
Okay, seriously people, what is up with the recent spate of skate-related horrific injuries in the NHL? HEY GUYS! THOSE THINGS ON YOUR FEET? R SHRP. Yeesh. This isn't news. Watch where your feet go and maybe try to keep them out of your teammate's neck.
No, I'm not kidding. Richard Zednick got caught in the neck by his own teammate's skates on Sunday. He's in stable condition at a Buffalo hospital and is expected to recover.
On Saturday, during a Flyers-Rangers game in Philly, Linesman Pat Dapuzzo got a skate in the FACE. Mere seconds after the injury, a brawl broke out between the two teams, leading to a couple minutes of utter chaos as the remaining officials tried (and mostly failed) to break up the fights, Dapuzzo attempted to . . . I don't know, bleed the guys into behaving, and both team's trainers came charging out to put his face back together.
Ugh. Cut it out. I mean, some blood in hockey is okay, but there should be a noticeable difference between "Hockey Night in Canada" and "This NONES NONES NONES the LIONS ARE BACK at The Coliseum...."
Drug-Resistant Bacteria Found in Wild Arctic Birds! Well it's a good thing that no one is worried about bird flu. . . shit.
Also, this bit of hilarity: Where Elephants Tread, Geckos Thrive, Study Finds. Because Elephants stomp on a lot of cars? Or is this a really subtle way of implying that Republicans can't drive?
I'm bored at work. Therefore, I am sharing with you the collection of random blather that is on my mind at the moment.
First it was the Japanese Crustaceans that were going to nibble us to death. Now they've gotten the starfish in on the evil plot, and we are all going to die. This is assuming, of course the zombie rats don't get to us first.
And, finally, some guy has compared all of the Republican candidates to villians from Buffy. You're welcome.
