Happy New Year! We're all going to die.

One of my New Year's Resolutions is to blog more. Since I pretty much have sucked at blogging over the last two years, this will be one resolution I like my odds of keeping...

In the spirit of preparedness and because, seriously, if National Geographic is going to keep freaking me out, then I'm going to keep freaking you out, we inaugurate a semi-regular feature here at the North end of Normal: How We Are All Going To Die.

First unspeakable fate to befall us in 2008? Nibbled to Death By Crustaceans.

Millions of tiny crustaceans are causing a small island in southern Japan to disappear at an alarming rate, according to a local expert.

The animals, tiny relatives of crabs and shrimp that are known in the region as nanatsuba-kotsubumushi, are boring into the uninhabited island of Hoboro.

Sure, Hoboro is uninhabited so no one is actually dying. . . yet. What happens when Hoboro finally crumbles into dust? These little bastards move on to Hokkaido, that's what. And then, next thing you know, you are hearing ominous tiny crunching noises off the coast of California and we all die.